Captain Hotknives Discography

I created an album of for me what are Chris’s (Captain Hotknives) greatest hits, through finding what I think are the best quality versions out there of 13 well loved comedy songs, plus mixing and matching a few different versions together.

As well I edited together 3 volumes of folk songs, instrumentals & bonus tracks.

Finally I copyed the automatic transcripts, cleaned them up into lyrics pages and I’m working on building it into an illustrated sleeve notes zine which will contain lyrics, descriptions & more.

Click the links below to see:

Captain Hotknives Greatest Hits on YouTube and available to download on archive.org & bandcamp including:

In the process of making the album, I spreadsheeted all of Chris’s songs into a table you can see at the bottom of this post. Half of the MP3s lead to his and others original bandcamp where you can listen and donate for all the laughs. And the missing ones lead to my bandcamp where you can listen and download for free.

As well I uploaded the best quality audios to youtube and made a playlist.

Click the links below to see:

Captain Hotknives Discoraphy on YouTube and available to download on bandcamp & archive.org.

All 165 unique captain hotknives songs online as of May, 2021, plus the greatest hits from each genre:

Genre Date Album Track Videos MP3s Replays
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Mushrooms Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Anti Gravity Cats Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Bob The Amazing Sheepdog Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Glue Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Hotknives Are Good For You Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs I Hate Babies Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs I Skanked Me Nanna Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs I’m In An Anarchist Squat Punk Band Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Johnny Depp With Me Bird Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs One Good Thing About Buckfast Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Prejudiced Wildlife Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs Scuse Me Mate Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.1 Comedy Songs The Pigeons Told Me To Shoplift Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Hustler’s Lament Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Travelling Free Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Into The Valley Of The Timber Wolves Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Let The Sorrow Come Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Smugglers Bold Video Audio  
Folk 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.2 Folk Songs Out Of Sight   Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Say Farewell Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Demented Pixie Music Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Manchego Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Five Pound Junkie Shades Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Walking Through Morecombe Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Banjoy Division Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Molly’s Song Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Into The Valley Of The Timberwolves (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Riff for Paco Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Lying To Your Mum (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals All The Kings Are Gone (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.3 Instrumentals Coming Down Slow Video Audio  
Stand Up 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD Soundchecks & Singbacks   Audio  
Sketch Comedy 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD Day 3604 In The Big Tory Workhouse Video Audio  
Sketch Comedy 2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD Steward Skit feat. Tarantism   Audio  
Sketch/
Parody
2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD Electric Distortion Feat. Clusterfuck   Audio  
Electric/
Psychedelic
2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD Salt-N-Pepa Push It Parody Video Audio  
Autobiograph-
ical Story
2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD The Light Side Of Psychosis Video Audio  
Autobiograph-
ical Story
2000― 2021 Greatest Hits Vol.4 Bonus CD The Story of Captain Hotknives Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club I Skanked Me Nanna Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Prejudiced Wildlife Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club One Good Thing About Buckfast Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club 12 Days Of Christmas Parody Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Janis Joplin Oh Lord Won’t You Buy Me Parody Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Johnny Cash Sue Parody Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Scuse Me Mate Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Hotknives Are Good For You Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club The Pigeons Told Me To Shoplift Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2008 Live at the 1 in 12 Club Slugs Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song 2009 Live at Brudenell Social Club, Leeds – St. Patrick’s Day 2009 A Gambling Song Feat Bill Lloyd & Adi Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2009 Audience Video No Gyro, No Drugs feat Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2009 Audience Video Bendy Bus Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2009 Live at Karns, Hinckley 2009 Diana Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2011 Home Video Sleepy McGee Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2011 Home Video Lust for Pies Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2011 Audience Video It’s Bigger Than Hip Hop feat Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Watch Out for the Friendly fire   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Piss & Bullets   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Middle Class Hero   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Mackerel Skin Suit   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Like a Horse on a Roundabout   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album I’m in an Indie Band   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album I Believe in Cannibals   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Squidgy Black Album Dyslexia Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Pigeons Told Me to Shoplift You Lying Man Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 The Pigeons Told Me to Shoplift Jimi Hendrix Won’t Help You With Your Maths Exams   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 The Pigeons Told Me to Shoplift I’ll Never Forget the Time I Developed Amnesia   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Pigeons Told Me to Shoplift Fuckin Monkey Bollocks   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 The Pigeons Told Me to Shoplift Chip Shop   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Seizure Later   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Safety is Important   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Poor Terry   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Me Name Is   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Maybe I Bin Drinkin Too Much   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Han Solo Smith   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Games Workshop Child Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Empty Belly Teatime Drinkin   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 I Hate Babies Don’t Smoke Weed in Front of Your Mum   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Techno Notice   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Scuffer Shoes   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Nuns   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Vicious Chicken Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Hunters Vs Twoccers   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Guinness   Audio  
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Asthma Boy   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2014 Blarney Stoner Are You Into Bread   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Shabby Muffin Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Mushrooms Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live MRSA   Audio  
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Kipping on Someone’s Floor   Audio  
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Johnny Depp With Me Bird Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live I’m In An Anarchist Squat Punk Band Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live I Hate Babies Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Glue Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Bob The Amazing Sheepdog Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song 2015 LARC Live Anti Gravity Cats Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8
Comedy Song 2016 Live at 0161 Festival Ecstasy Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Home Video Trying to find a place to piss Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Home Video Swan Attack Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Home Video Mrs Cloughs Back Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Home Video Hedgehogs Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Home Video Cosmic Rave Sock Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2017 Audience Video Narnia Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2018 Home Video Cork Crew Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2018 Single Oh No Its A Punk All Dayer   Audio  
Comedy Song 2018 Single Nobhead Kids   Audio  
Comedy Song 2018 Prolefeed Keeffflibus   Audio  
Comedy Song 2018 Home Video Lyin to your mum Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song 2018 Fat Panthers Home Video My Dick’s Gonna Get Me Killed Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2019 Mimi O Malley He Were A Great Breaker My Dad Feat. Mimi O Malley   Audio  
Comedy Song 2019 Prolefeed This Is The End Parody   Audio  
Comedy Song 2019 Prolefeed Now I Wanna Use Your Bog With Prolefeed   Audio #1
Comedy Song 2019 Prolefeed Born To Shag Helmets feat Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2019 Home Video Posh Munters On Ket Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song 2019 Home Video Bring Back That Old Special Brew Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2020 Home Video The Rivers of Gaviscon Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2020 Home Video Please Dont Break My Banjo String Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2021 Home Video Rolling with the bible Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2021 Home Video Chronic Self Doubt Video Audio  
Comedy Song 2021 Home Video David Attenbourough Is A Petrosexual Video Audio #1
Comedy Song 2021 Home Video The Dissapearing Capo Video Audio  
Rock 2006 Killing Frogs Velvet Crab feat. Los Langeros   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Method To the Madness   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck World Citizen   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Kill or be Killed world   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Get Rich Or Die Trying   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Izzat means Respect   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Truth And Soul   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck Inner Glow   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck White Skin Against Mine   Audio  
Folk 2010 Knocking On Heavens Door feat. Babar Luck House of The Godds   Audio  
Folk 2014 I Hate Babies You’re More Punk Than Me   Audio  
Folk 2014 The Squidgy Black Album And the Light of Love is Shining Down   Audio  
Folk 2014 The Squidgy Black Album So What   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Comfortably Numb Too   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Fools   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Outros & Intros   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Home   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Runn Money   Audio  
Folk 2015 Strike When the Knives are Hot feat. Babar Luck Love Is A Ding Dong   Audio  
Folk 2017 Fat Panthers Home Video Travelling Free Video Audio  
Folk 2017 Fat Panthers Home Video Hustler’s Lament Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Folk 2018 Home Video Sex Pistols Sell Out Video Audio  
Folk 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Out Of Sight   Audio  
Folk 2019 Home Video Ballina Video Audio  
Folk 2020 Home Video Into The Valley Of The Timber Wolves Video Audio  
Folk 2020 Home Video Black Sabbath Kid Video Audio  
Folk 2020 Home Video Killarney Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4
Folk 2020 Home Video Let The Sorrow Come Video Audio  
Folk 2020 Home Video All The Kings Are Gone Video Audio  
Folk 2021 Home Video Music History Video Audio  
Folk 2021 Home Video Smugglers Bold Video Audio  
Folk 2021 Home Video Mo Mowlam Video Audio  
Folk 2021 Home Video 70s Banjo dance riffs Video Audio  
Metal 2018 Split feat. Prolefeed Union Jokes   Audio  
Metal 2018 Split feat. Prolefeed Don’t look at me   Audio  
Metal 2018 Split feat. Prolefeed Double Tap Airstrikes   Audio  
Metal 2018 Split feat. Prolefeed The Business End   Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Say Farewell Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Demented Pixie Music Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Manchego Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Five Pound Junkie Shades Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Walking Through Morecombe Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Banjoy Division Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Molly’s Song Video Audio #1
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Into The Valley Of The Timberwolves (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers; Nine Tunes & A Song Coming Down Slow Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers Home Video Dig A Hole Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers Home Video Hungry Horse Video Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Fat Panthers Home Video Lying To Your Mum (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Fat Panthers Home Video Dancing To The Rhythm Of A Bristol Street Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Fat Panthers Home Video Storyteller Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Fat Panthers Home Video View From Witches Crag Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Fat Panthers Home Video Weedgie Ridge Video Audio #1
Instrumental 2020 Fat Panthers Home Video All The Kings Are Gone (Instrumental) Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Smugglers’ Bold Beautiful Music Is Giving Me Energy Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Smugglers’ Bold Frowm Bowm Biddle Om Rowm   Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Smugglers’ Bold A Bar In Ballina   Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Smugglers’ Bold I Wasnt Safe When I Was Young   Audio  
Instrumental 2018 Home Video Foggy Mountain Breakdown Video Audio  
Instrumental 2019 Home Video Riff for Paco Video Audio #1
Instrumental 2019 Home Video Country and West Yorkshire blues meander Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Mountain Minor Banjo Breakout Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Mountain Banjo Medley Minor Key Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Blue Hawaii’s Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Bit Of Blues For Foggy Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Bean Sionnach Video Audio  
Instrumental 2020 Home Video Banjo Medley Major Key Video Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning That’s How I Got Into Black Sabbath   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Nanna Was A Fortune Teller   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Tickled Pink   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Polinca From A Gin Bottle   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Three Card Spread   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Slide Away Slow   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning John Lee’s Cooker   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning We All Fuck Up From Time To Tome   Audio  
Instrumental 2021 The Lake Of Learning Potcheen From A Wine Bottle   Audio  
Stand Up 2009 Live at Rebellion Festival, Blackpool 2009 Soundchecks & Singbacks   Audio  
Sketch Comedy 2014 Music Is Music Steward Skit feat. Tarantism   Audio  
Sketch Comedy 2020 Home Video Day 3604 In The Big Tory Workhouse   Audio  
Sketch/Parody 2021 Home Video Salt-N-Pepa Push It Parody Video Audio  
Electric/
Psychedelic
2018 Pesticide Electric Distortion Feat. Clusterfuck   Audio  
Autobiograph-
ical Story
2020 Home Video The Light Side Of Psychosis Video Audio  
Autobiograph-
ical Story
2020 Home Video The story of Captain Hotknives Video Audio  

Missing Songs

  • Shit Wi’ Sugar On Album
    • My Spunk Can’t Swim
    • Johnny Cash Converter
    • Other Peoples Poo
    • I Got Thrown Out Of Music College
    • Everybody Farts
    • The End
    • Hip Hop Hobbits
    • Shit Wi’ Sugar On
    • Yoda In The Dole Office
  • Urban Legend
    • Getting Sectioned Feat. Maddie On The Accordion (see a call out for a rewriting of the song here)
    • A Musslebrough Accent Is A Muscle Relaxant
  • Home Videos
    • Pay it Forward
    • I Found A Blim
    • Full Of Snot Snot Snot
    • King Of The Swingers
    • Exposure
    • Plastic John
    • No Money

Captain Hotknives’ Platforms

Watch his new videos on Facebook & YouTube

Donate to him on Bandcamp.

And if you want to book him for a gig his email is shabbymuffin@gmail.com

Further Reading