Captain Hotknives Discography

I created an album of for me what are Chris’s (Captain Hotknives) greatest hits, through finding what I think are the best quality versions out there of 13 well loved comedy songs, plus mixing and matching a few different versions together.

Secondly, I edited together 3 volumes of folk songs, instrumentals & bonus tracks.

Thirdly, I typed up the lyrics and I’m working on building it into an illustrated sleeve notes zine which will contain lyrics, descriptions & more.

Finally, I’m working on helping Chris get both up on his Bandcamp, so that 100% of music sales will go back to him & I’m keeping a tally of sales so that 50% of book & zine profits go back to him.

Click the links below to see:a1400372308_10

In the process of making the album, I spread-sheeted all of Chris’s songs into a table you can see at the bottom of this post. 

And I uploaded the footage and audios to various sites and youtube playlists.

Click the links below to see:

Captain Hotknives Full Discography Playlist

All 176 unique Captain Hotknives songs, sketches and stories online as of May, 2021.

Genre Best Quality Versions Videos MP3s Replays
Comedy Song I Skanked Me Nanna Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song Mushrooms Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8
Comedy Song Prejudiced Wildlife Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song Hotknives Are Good For You Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song I’m In An Anarchist Squat Punk Band Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song Bob The Amazing Sheepdog Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song Johnny Depp With Me Bird Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song Scuse Me Mate Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song The Pigeons Told Me To Shoplift Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song Glue Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6
Comedy Song I Hate Babies Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6
Comedy Song Dyslexia Video Audio
Comedy Song Anti Gravity Cats Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8
Comedy Song Posh Munters On Ket Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song One Good Thing About Buckfast Video Audio #1 #2 #3
Comedy Song Johnny Cash Sue Parody Video Audio #1
Comedy Song Slugs Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song Nuns   Audio
Comedy Song Glue Cover Video
Comedy Song Bendy Bus Video Audio
Comedy Song Hunters Vs Twoccers   Audio
Comedy Song Ecstasy Video Audio
Comedy Song Narnia Video Audio
Comedy Song 12 Days Of Christmas Parody Video Audio
Comedy Song Janis Joplin Oh Lord Won’t You Buy Me Parody Video Audio
Comedy Song Seizure Later   Audio
Comedy Song Are You Into Bread   Audio
Comedy Song Shabby Muffin Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Comedy Song MRSA   Audio
Comedy Song Rolling with the bible   Audio
Comedy Song Chronic Self Doubt   Audio
Comedy Song David Attenbourough Is A Petrosexual Video Audio #1
Comedy Song Me Name Is   Audio
Comedy Song My Dick’s Gonna Get Me Killed Video Audio
Comedy Song No Gyro, No Drugs feat Video Audio
Comedy Song It’s Bigger Than Hip Hop feat Video Audio
Comedy Song Middle Class Hero   Audio
Comedy Song Mrs Cloughs Back   Audio
Comedy Song Nobhead Kids   Audio
Comedy Song The Disappearing Capo   Audio
Comedy Song A Gambling Song Feat Bill Lloyd & Adi Video Audio
Comedy Song Sleepy McGee Video Audio
Comedy Song Lust for Pies Video Audio
Comedy Song Watch Out for the Friendly fire   Audio
Comedy Song Piss & Bullets   Audio
Comedy Song Mackerel Skin Suit   Audio
Comedy Song Like a Horse on a Roundabout   Audio
Comedy Song I’m in an Indie Band   Audio
Comedy Song I Believe in Cannibals   Audio
Comedy Song You Lying Man Video Audio
Comedy Song Jimi Hendrix Won’t Help You With Your Maths Exams   Audio
Comedy Song I’ll Never Forget the Time I Developed Amnesia   Audio
Comedy Song Fuckin Monkey Bollocks   Audio
Comedy Song Chip Shop   Audio
Comedy Song Safety is Important Video Audio
Comedy Song Poor Terry   Audio
Comedy Song Maybe I Bin Drinkin Too Much   Audio
Comedy Song Han Solo Smith   Audio
Comedy Song Games Workshop Child Video Audio
Comedy Song Empty Belly Teatime Drinkin   Audio
Comedy Song Don’t Smoke Weed in Front of Your Mum   Audio
Comedy Song Techno Notice   Audio
Comedy Song Scuffer Shoes   Audio
Comedy Song Vicious Chicken Video Audio
Comedy Song Guinness   Audio
Comedy Song Asthma Boy   Audio
Comedy Song Kipping on Someone’s Floor   Audio
Comedy Song Give It A Miss, I’m Taking A Piss Video Audio
Comedy Song Swan Attack Video Audio
Comedy Song Hedgehogs Video Audio
Comedy Song Cosmic Rave Sock Video Audio
Comedy Song Cork Crew Video Audio
Comedy Song Oh No Its A Punk All Dayer   Audio
Comedy Song Keeffflibus   Audio
Comedy Song Lyin to your mum Video Audio #1 #2
Comedy Song He Were A Great Breaker My Dad Feat. Mimi O Malley   Audio
Comedy Song This Is The End Parody   Audio
Comedy Song Now I Wanna Use Your Bog With Prolefeed   Audio #1
Comedy Song Born To Shag Helmets feat Video Audio #1
Comedy Song Bring Back That Old Special Brew Video Audio #1
Comedy Song The Rivers of Gaviscon Video Audio
Comedy Song Please Dont Break My Banjo String Video Audio
Comedy Song Touretteshero Meets Captain Hotknives   Audio
Folk Subterranean Homesick Blues Cover Video
Folk Method To the Madness   Audio
Folk World Citizen   Audio
Folk Kill or be Killed world   Audio
Folk Get Rich Or Die Trying   Audio
Folk Izzat means Respect   Audio
Folk Truth And Soul   Audio
Folk Inner Glow   Audio
Folk White Skin Against Mine   Audio
Folk House of The Godds   Audio
Folk You’re More Punk Than Me   Audio
Folk And the Light of Love is Shining Down   Audio
Folk So What   Audio
Folk Comfortably Numb Too   Audio
Folk Fools   Audio
Folk Outros & Intros   Audio
Folk Home   Audio
Folk Runn Money   Audio
Folk Love Is A Ding Dong   Audio
Folk Travelling Free Video Audio
Folk Hustler’s Lament Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4 #5
Folk Sex Pistols Sell Out Video Audio
Folk Out Of Sight Video Audio
Folk Ballina Video Audio
Folk Into The Valley Of The Timber Wolves   Audio
Folk Black Sabbath Kid Video Audio
Folk Killarney Video Audio #1 #2 #3 #4
Folk Let The Sorrow Come Video Audio
Folk All The Kings Are Gone Video Audio
Folk Music History   Audio
Folk Smugglers Bold   Audio
Folk Mo Mowlam   Audio
Folk 70s Banjo dance riffs   Audio
Folk Nowt You Can Do   Audio
Folk Rock The Downturn Soil   Audio
Rock Velvet Crab feat. Los Langeros   Audio
Electric Middle Class White Kids At Festivals   Audio
Jazz The Not An Ocelot Trot   Audio
Jazz Riley In A Can   Audio
Jazz Don’t Feed Your Chickens PCP, Mrs Robinson   Audio
Jazz Bossa Panchali   Audio
Jazz Three Is Beautiful   Audio
Jazz Everything’s Material   Audio
Metal Union Jokes   Audio
Metal Don’t look at me   Audio
Metal Double Tap Airstrikes   Audio
Metal The Business End   Audio
Instrumental Say Farewell Video Audio
Instrumental Demented Pixie Music Video Audio
Instrumental Manchego Video Audio
Instrumental Five Pound Junkie Shades Video Audio
Instrumental Walking Through Morecombe Video Audio
Instrumental Banjoy Division Video Audio
Instrumental Molly’s Song Video Audio #1
Instrumental Into The Valley Of The Timberwolves (Instrumental) Video Audio
Instrumental Coming Down Slow Video Audio
Instrumental Dig A Hole Video Audio
Instrumental Hungry Horse Video Audio
Instrumental Lying To Your Mum (Instrumental) Video Audio
Instrumental Dancing To The Rhythm Of A Bristol Street Video Audio
Instrumental Storyteller Video Audio
Instrumental View From Witches Crag Video Audio
Instrumental Weedgie Ridge Video Audio #1
Instrumental All The Kings Are Gone (Instrumental) Video Audio
Instrumental Beautiful Music Is Giving Me Energy Video Audio
Instrumental Frowm Bowm Biddle Om Rowm   Audio
Instrumental A Bar In Ballina   Audio
Instrumental I Wasnt Safe When I Was Young   Audio
Instrumental Foggy Mountain Breakdown Video Audio
Instrumental A Riff for Paco Video Audio #1
Instrumental Country and West Yorkshire blues meander Video Audio
Instrumental Mountain Minor Banjo Breakout Video Audio
Instrumental Mountain Banjo Medley Minor Key Video Audio
Instrumental Blue Hawaii’s Video Audio
Instrumental Bit Of Blues For Foggy Video Audio
Instrumental Bean Sionnach Video Audio
Instrumental Banjo Medley Major Key Video Audio
Instrumental That’s How I Got Into Black Sabbath   Audio
Instrumental Nanna Was A Fortune Teller   Audio
Instrumental Tickled Pink   Audio
Instrumental Polinca From A Gin Bottle   Audio
Instrumental Three Card Spread   Audio
Instrumental Slide Away Slow   Audio
Instrumental John Lee’s Cooker   Audio
Instrumental We All Fuck Up From Time To Tome   Audio
Instrumental Potcheen From A Wine Bottle   Audio
Stand Up Soundchecks & Singbacks   Audio
Sketch/Parody Salt-N-Pepa Push It Parody Video Audio
Sketch Comedy Steward Skit feat. Tarantism   Audio
Sketch Comedy Day 3604 In The Big Tory Workhouse Video Audio
Electric/Psychedelic Electric Distortion Feat. Clusterfuck   Audio
Autobiographical Story The Light Side Of Psychosis Video Audio
Autobiographical Story The story of Captain Hotknives Video Audio

Missing Songs

  • Shit Wi’ Sugar On Album
    • My Spunk Can’t Swim
    • Johnny Cash Converter
    • Other Peoples Poo
    • I Got Thrown Out Of Music College
    • Everybody Farts
    • The End
    • Hip Hop Hobbits
    • Shit Wi’ Sugar On
    • Yoda In The Dole Office
  • Urban Legend
    • Getting Sectioned Feat. Maddie On The Accordion (see a call out for a rewriting of the song here)
    • A Musslebrough Accent Is A Muscle Relaxant
    • Robin hood got an ASBO
  • Home Videos
    • Pay it Forward
    • I Found A Blim
    • Full Of Snot Snot Snot
    • King Of The Swingers
    • Exposure
    • Plastic John
    • No Money

Captain Hotknives’ Platforms

Watch his new videos on his Facebook, his FB Fanpage & YouTube

Donate to him on Bandcamp.

Further Reading