Sticking Around #3
After a trying end to the summer, I do my best to keep positive by going for it and playing shows. Surprisingly positive results to my efforts.
Sticking Around #2
Exploring my interest in home recording and grappling with lack of confidence in my musical abilities. Trying to support friends when their house burns down & our friend goes into a coma after falling off his bike.
Sticking Around #1
In “Sticking Around #1” I write about staying in the same town after graduating from college, and post-college life/ anxieties in general. I talk about trying to maintain friendships when people moveaway, entering the work force via a vegan cafe, and an anxiety dream (about oatmeal?!?)
Perzine Mythologising Me 10 zine
The usual trope about me not being able to make any kind of life decision whatsoever. I also talk about ‘treat yo’self’, paper rounds, falling in love with Manchester and organising Northwest Zinefest.
If you want to request pink, orange or yellow say so in the comments or I will surprise you! 🙂
Reverse Cougar Years by Maxx
The Reverse Cougar Years #3
I’ve been meaning to get this one in stock for a while, and here it is! This perzine is divided into two different topics – in the first half, Maxx writes about being a woman working as a sound technician, something that’s quite uncommon (in the real world, and also in zines – how many sound techs do you know??), and everything that comes along with it. Not just sexism in the workplace, but also a history of how she got into the profession, and a little checklist on how to not be a jerk to your soundperson. The last half is about anxiety – an exploration of her mental health both on and off of pharmaceutical medication, situations that can trigger panic attacks, important happenings and relationships that have contributed to her mental health and outlook on life, et cetera. Totally engaging read, and a nice introduction to a new friend!
The Reverse Cougar Years #4
In the previous issue, we learned about Maxx’s experiences working as a sound technician. In this one, we follow her as she joins a crew setting up audio equipment for an outdoor winter festival – lugging heavy equipment through the snow, and working with a bunch of dudes. It all starts when she goes out to buy steel-toe workboots only to find that smaller women’s sizes are tougher to get a hold of, and that PINK boots are on offer. At work, she notices casual sexism and homophobia coming from her co-workers. As a feminist, and someone who studied political philosophy in school, she finds it difficult to simply turn off that switch that makes her aware of those microaggressions. But at the same time, she calls herself on the assumptions she’d originally made about her co-workers, and the way she believed herself to know better because of her university education. I think we’ve all been in those situations where we have to decide when and if it’s okay to call a person out on these things, and whether it’s worth simply continuing to get to know them better, which is what Maxx does. As a woman working in a male-dominated field, this is a situation she is constantly learning and re-learning to navigate. Ironically, after the whole steel-toe boot debacle, she winds up at home with an unrelated foot injury and indeed writes this zine during the healing process. I gotta say, she is a really excellent storyteller.
The Reverse Cougar Years #5
If you know me, you know that I love a good OkCupid story, and this zine is full of ’em. Maxx begins by telling us a bit about her dating history and her decision to join the popular dating website – namely, loneliness, living among a small dating pool (punks!), and a desire to explore something outside of heteronormative monogamous relationships. This issue features the bold femme, the political speech writer (can you guess how it went?), and the hipster. So great!
Pieces 6: On Commuiting
One of my favorite zines is back in print for a short time!
This text-heavy issue of Pieces was written in 2011 and is filled with stories about my first month commuting to a job in Chicago via the South Shore electric line from Indiana. This journalesque issue touches on changes, human isolation, connectivity, and transient strangers.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 86 pages : Text-heavy
Pieces 6.5 / My Aim is True 5
This split zine was made with my friend Carrie. We tell two very different stories about body image, but when you get to the salt of each narrative, the feelings are quite similar. Pieces covers an acceptance of acne and scarring. My Aim is True covers acceptance with weight. Both are about the need for self-discovery, self-love, and the people who helped get us get where we are today.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 82 pages
Pieces 8: On Twelve Years of Running
This text-heavy zine is a series of snapshots of the last twelve years. Stories include: avoiding therapy and medication for fear of stigma, starting intermittent therapy, and finally–twelve years later–beginning continual therapy and medication . This zine is a narrative of the constant battle of wanting help but working hard to appear as normal.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 64 pages : Text-heavy
Pieces 8.5 / The Flip Side
This is a split zine I did with my mother for the 24-hour Zine Thing. Zines have been a way for me to communicate with her some difficult things about myself, and I wanted her to share this medium of expression with her. I was delighted when she accepted! This is a lighthearted zine filled with stories about the library, transient pets, a recipe, favorite numbers, quotes, and blackout poetry.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 36 pages
Pieces 9: On Death / The Escape Artist 11
This is a split I did with Jolie Ruin about death, grieving, and the questions we have about how something so weighty fits into our everyday experiences.
Perzine : 1/2 size : 32 pages : Text-heavy
Pieces 10 / My Aim is True 10
This is a split zine with Carrie of My Aim is True and Gender Matters.
Carrie writes about her right to exist as a fat woman, how life is too short to remain angry, street harassment, and things to remember being in the world as a fat person.
I write about accepting myself as I am: acne, scars, depression, and everything else, how I’ve come to embrace (and like!) my acne scarring, weight standing in the way of starting medication, and how conversation can be the most healing thing of all.
Perzine : 1/4 legal size : 50 pages
Pieces 11: On Connecting Through Friendships, Letters & Zines
This text-heavy zine is about connecting with others through friendships, letters, long distance acquaintanceship, and zines. Stories include moving beyond diagnoses, courage found through zines, slipping letters to strangers in coffee shops, a girl on the bus, creating second homes, and Chicago Zine Fest 2014.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 56 pages : Text-heavy
Pieces 12: On Travel
An issue about my solo travels of Summer 2014. Places visited include Seattle, Portland, Toronto, and Sleeping Bear Dunes. This overarching narrative highlights folks I met along the way, the homes I stayed in, friends, strangers, a DeLorean, 2014’s Portland Zine Symposium, stargazing, finding Self in unknown places, and a whole bunch more.
Perzine : 1/4 size : 82 pages : Text-heavy
high on burning photographs by Ocean Capewell
i feel a little weird about the fact that these random people scanned in the entirety of issue #4 without even sending me an email and making sure it’s ok. buuut….i know they only did it because they really liked it. and i like this issue a lot too. so here you go!
on sobriety, singledom, and the world’s single best proposal: “will you, ocean capewell, by my a-official law unabiding partner in oil can romping, floor stomping, catchphrase poppin, jawdropping, mischief-copping amazement, till our travels do us part?”
a split with a friend who was incarcerated at the time.
“I love ocean’s stories. This zine includes sections from the memoir they wrote and then decided not to publish when they found out one of the main characters is a rapist… Obviousy, they don’t reprint the parts about that person, but do include wonderful stories about their first “punk community” in Philly when they were 19, with big queer dance parties. Drag night, race and gender and sex. Also stories about oceans life now, working as a social worker in SanFrancisco, and how shitty people in the tech industry are about homelessness, socialwork, and everything.” – Cindy Crabb
I write the zines Tattooed Memoirs, Hard Knox, and Marked For Life & edit the comp zine, FAT-TASTIC!
Marked For Life #8- bus stories
24 pages/Quarter size
Sage writes, “My intentions were to fill issue #8 with stories about weird and funny things that happened while riding the city bus in Olympia, Wa, but soon after starting on the zine, I realized quite a few of my stories revolved around my anxiety and how it affected my bus rides. I wrote about the various characters I met on the bus, memorable moments, awkward moments, a bus ride panic attack, and DIY anxiety tips for bus riders.”
I began to have many irrational thoughts. Would I get on the right bus? Would the bus driver stop when I pulled the signal? How would I know where to get off? The questions ran on and on in my brain like a movie reel spinning out of control.
Marked For Life #10 – V is for Vitiligo
24 pages/Quarter size
Sage writes about being diagnosed with the skin disease, vitiligo at age 10 and the ups and downs that came along with it. She shares stories, facts (both weird and not-so weird) and also how she feels about having vitiligo 17 years later.
‘I ended up getting a tribal piece that goes over my knee cap and down my shin to cover my vitiligo. Go ahead and laugh, tribal was a dumb choice, but it was the 90s and that was all the rage with one of my tattoo artists. I don’t mind it so much though. I like how bold it is and it makes me feel like a piece of armor is protecting me.’
Retrospect: A Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric Zinethology
Selections from Sarah Sawyers-Lovett’s long-running zine, Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric, have been collected and showcased in this paperback book. In between the covers lay stories of growing up poor, queer and lonely in a conservative small town in Virginia, building and losing communities and friendships,loss, abusive relationships, survival, balloon artistry, and finding hope and love. Picking up where Sawyers-Lovett left off with her first autobiographical novel Everybody Else’s Girl, her poetic voice and raw honesty will continue to let you witness the breaking apart of life, and will dare you to watch as she puts the pieces back together.
Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric #16: Saying Goodbye
Stories about growing up in Tazewell (rural) Virginia, and recounting her 23 year long friendship with her best friend – starting at age 10, some really funny stories, some really sad. I love thinking about knowing someone for that long, and tracing back your life in connection with a friend like that. – Cindy Crabb
Safe Home #1: Thoughts and Stories about home and friendship
A new zine by Sarah of Tazewell’s… This issues is about finding a way to make a Safe Home in Philladelphia, after growing up in one that wasn’t. about how scary it was to move to a city, trying to find ways to fit in or find people to relate to, working as a professional balloon artist and dating girls. “May be the safest homes are communities based on mutual support and respect…” finding a life that she never knew she could want because she didn’t know it existed. – Cindy Crabb
Issue #6 includes my attempt to investigate the traces of anxiety, depression, suicide, and alcoholism in my family’s history as well as my own difficulties with these issues. Eight sections discuss: the secrecy surrounding my family’s history of suicides, a recent suicide in my family, my issues with anxiety and pushing emotions aside, my reoccuring suicidal thoughts and how my identities intersect with them, talking with a fellow queer/trans friend struggling with suicide, assessing my tumultuous relationship with alcohol and deciding to become consciously sober, what I can do to manage and deal with things, and what I plan to do in the future. There is a trigger warning for the zine relating to depression, anxiety, suicide, self-harm, alcoholism, sexual assault, and abuse – please take care of yerself before you read this. It is intense.Extremely text heavy, B&W, 1/4 size, 46 pages. $3 US / $4 international (includes shipping), or trade! [February 2012]
Issue #7 is about queerness, introversion, and friendship theory.
In the 5 sections of this zine, sari attempts to hash out their thoughts on the process of making and keeping friends, how their various identities intersect and affects friendships, the spaces in which friendships are cultivated or cut off, and how they can improve their friendship skills.
this zine is B&W, 1/4 size, 38 pages, & text heavy.
Issue #8 is about memory loss, queer(y)ing growth, and teen advice.
When working on a piece for Hoax #9: Feminisms and Vulnerabilities, I initially intended to take the queer advice framework of writing to one’s theoretical teen self and flip it on its head by creating a fictionalized direct dialogue with my ten-years-younger self. After taking much time investigating different ways to enact this, I scrapped the idea altogether—I had a lot of internal dialogue about why I didn’t want to follow the queer advice road much traveled and realized that I couldn’t give voice to myself in the past because I was almost totally estranged from my memories and feelings from that time period. In this zine, which is a much-expanded version of the piece featured in Hoax #9, I discuss the complications I have seemingly always had with remembering things, reconceptualizing the past to more adequately place myself in the future, and ideas to share with non-normative teens and young adults for navigating tough situations.
B&W, 1/2 size, 24 pages, & text heavy.
Issue #9 is all about reflections of being sober for 2 years, how to support your sober friends, and difficult realizations I had to make once I became sober. [February 2014]
For the longest time I thought countless difficulties I faced before I became sober would magically vanish by quitting drinking – but eventually I came to the realizations that I hadn’t made concrete plans for life post-booze and sobriety wasn’t the super fun root beer keg party I assumed it was going to be. I became cognizant that my issues with sobriety were innately tied into some deep hurts concerning anxiety, trauma, sexual assault, bar culture, and much more. In the 4 sections of this zine, I attempt to take stock of my mistakes and hurts over the past two years, showcase some misconceptions about sobriety that I have come up against, explain my attempts to battle my insecurity over continuing to stick to sobriety, and give some suggested pointers for folks who would like to support their sober friends and community members.
This zine is B&W, 1/4 size, 38 pages, & text heavy.
Issue #10 is about internalized homophobia, waiting for friendships to form, coping with abusive relationships, using men as “beards” and dating them to access social spaces and to survive in a heterosexist small-town environment, survivorship, and using anger as a means of self-sufficiency. [November 2014]
Published in March 2015. Writing about sex, libido and medication, being diagnosed with a B12 deficiency, growing up and making changes.
description: reconciling my past with the present, resisting burnout, recapturing the fearlessness & wonderment of childhood, dealing with post-partum/adoption grief & depression, leaving chicago, new romance in georgia.
excerpt: “David & I are sitting on his front porch. It is January and it is sixty-five degrees outside and I am happy to be back in the dirty sweet south. We are listening to Gogol Bordello: in the old times, in the old times, in the old times it was not! a! crime! He’s smoking; I’m reading Howard Zinn. ‘We should build a time machine,’ he says. I put my book down & look purposefully at the precarious stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. ‘Absolutely!’ This is a year of yesses, and I speak in absolutes.”