Resources for People called out for Sexual Assault

Tips for Seeking a Therapist (for People Who Have Done Sexual Harm)  (06.2012)

Some tips for finding a therapist written by someone who at the time of this writing was two years into their accountability process for sexual harm.
Creative Interventions Toolkit: A Practical Guide to Stop Interpersonal Violence –   info@creative-interventions.org

 

Section 5. Other Resources
  1. Key Words – Definitions: Words We Use and What They Mean to Creative Interventions
  2. Real Life Stories and Examples from the Toolkit
  3. Creative Interventions Anti-Oppression Policy (Anti-Discrimination/Anti-
  4. Harassment)
  5. Community-Based Responses to Interpersonal Violence Workshop
  6. Taking Risks: Implementing Grassroots Community Accountability Strategies, by Communities Against Rape and Abuse (CARA).
  7. Distinguishing between Violence and Abuse, by Connie Burk, Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse
  8. Portrait of Praxis: An Anatomy of Accountability, by Esteban Kelly and Jenna Peters-Golden of Philly Stands Up (PSU)
  9. Confronting Sexual Assault: Transformative Justice on the Ground in Philadelphia, by Bench Ansfield and Timo thy Colman of Philly Stands Up (PSU)
  10. Shame, Realisation and Restoration: The Ethics of Restorative Practice, by Alan Jenkins
  11. Tips for Seeking a Therapist [for People Who Have Done Sexual Harm], by Anonymous.
  12. Resource List

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What to Do When You’ve Been Called Out

This trifold pamphlet provides an excellent basic idea of what to do when you’ve been called out for sexual assault, abuse, and other forms of sexual violence. It provides ideas on taking responsibility for your actions, learning how to support others, finding support for yourself, promoting personal and community healing, communicating about these issues, and identifying and addressing harmful behaviors. It’s a useful guide for helping folks who have done violence work towards building resilient, coherent communities in the wake of their violence; it also helps people who’ve done harm understand not only how they can avoid making the harm worse, but also how they can contribute to healing. Highly recommended!
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4What to Do When

A trifold pamphlet that lists steps that people who’ve been called out for sexual assault should take.

Its main themes are: Taking responsibility for your actions, Learning methods of supporting others, finding support for yourself, promoting personal and community healing, how to communicate on these issues, identifying and addressing behaviors. – Cindy Crabb

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what to do when 2What Do We Do When? #2

A zine about community response to sexual assault. Issue #2

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what to do when 3What Do We Do When? #3

Radical Community Response to Sexual Assault issue #3

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We Are All Survivors, We Are All Perpetrators / What To Do When...We Are All Survivors, We Are All Perpetrators

This short zine combines to excellent resources on sexual assault: the article “We Are All Survivors, We Are All Perpetrators” from the Crimethinc publication Rolling Thunder and a piece titled “What To Do When Someone Tells You That You Violated Their Boundaries, Made Them Feel Uncomfortable, Or Committed Assault (A Start).” Both offer important ideas for beginning discussions about sexual assault from a perspective that brings the issue into the open rather than keeping it hidden in the shadows.

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Taking The First Step: Suggestions To People Called Out For Abusive Behaviour

” We printed up some copies of this oldie but goodie zine on what to do when you’re called out for abusive behavior. There has been a lot of discussion around recent events and people associated with punk and activist circles in Richmond being called out for abusive behavior. We hope this might contribute to that conversation in a productive way.We’d recommend anyone read this, whether they have ever been called out for abuse or not. “

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11111111111HOW TO DEAL WITH BEING CALLED OUT

(click on the two pictures to enlarge)

From the zine:

THINK AND DIE THINKING Jan 2013

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Resources Specifically for Men-Identified Perpetrators

3Men Unlearning Rape

Looks like a collection of article from other sources.

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2 Men Can Stop Rape

by the Kansas Mutual Aid Collective

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On The Road To Healing #1On The Road To Healing #1

This is the first issue of a zine sub-titled “a booklet for men against sexism.” It features a number of essays looking at patriarchy and sexism and the role men have in upholding these institutions. The writings are grouped into four topic areas: 1) growing up male: writings on socialization and manhood; 2) changing ways: re-defining manhood; 3) men’s work: the work we can do to end sexism in our lives and communities; 4) getting to know yourself: some questions to aid in the process of self-discovery.

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    On the Road to Healing #2On The Road To Healing #2

    Sub-titled “a booklet for men against sexism,” this is the second issue of an older zine focused on critical theory and personal reflections on male socialization, sexism, and the concept of manhood. It has writings from several different authors on this broad subject who share their thoughts on manhood, male violence against women, father-son relationships, everyday anti-sexism, and demands from women.

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    dealing with our shit.PNGDealing With Our Shit: Six Years of Men’s Group and Accountability Work

    This zine is by Dealing With Our Shit, a men’s group for men and male-identified people from the Twin Cities who later took on the task of mentoring other males through accountability processes for sexual assault. It’s over 100 pages of interviews, reflections, and analysis about their history, their experiences, and their effectiveness. A great resource for anyone interested in working on community response to sexual assault outside the prison/court system. Lots of art, too!

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      Philly Dudes Collective: Year OnePhilly Dudes Collective: Year One

      In this zine, the Philly Dudes Collective—an anti-sexist “men’s group” that came out of the radical/anarchist and punk scenes in Philadelphia—gives an overview of their work during the first year of their existence. It includes a sampling of posters they used to promote their events, workshops and discussions they led, panels they participated on, etc. They offer good outlines for hosting conversations on masculinity and patriarchy and men’s roles in it. This is an excellent resource for anyone hoping to have conversations about masculinity, patriarchy, and gender in radical political and social scenes.

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      don't be a dick.PNGDon’t be a Dick

      DON’T BE A DICK is a zine about masculinity, rape, porn, and consent.

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      dont-be-a-dick-683x1024Don’t Be A Dick revised editions

      A zine about rape culture, male socialization, a critique of traditional porn, the importance of consent, including being honest enough to look at one’s history, and a great article called “what kind of man are you going to be?”. This revised edition features “More sex positivity, more cock love, better analysis, more genderqueer!”

      It is so important that guys start doing this work, and this is a really good introduction zine about these issues

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      1Beginners guide to responsible sexuality 4,609KB

      The cover says “(for men)”, and it’s put out by a Denver Collective who “identify as experiencing male privilege.” You should download it and read it if your interested.

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      This zine contains three articles by Tod Augusta-Scott, a social worker who works with men who have battered, abused, or used sexual violence. He has a novel approach to leading the men to take responsibility for their own actions and be accountable. This approach is based in challenging gender essentialism, listening to the men, and helping them develop new stories for their lives. Cogent and insightful, Tod Augusta-Scott’s articles provide a practical model that should be useful to people involved in community-based accountability work.

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      sex a.PNGSex and Men

      a hot potato

      “This booklet has been put together by a small group of men. It’s an honest and open view of how a few men see sex, other men and themselves. It’s also about how different our lives in society have been, and how as men we are all linked to it’s controlling powers. We hope to follow this booklet with another sometime in the future called ‘Love and Men’. This will be more about our own feelings towards each other and how we refuse and abuse them. Any men who wish to become involved or just want to write then please do.”

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      men speaking outMen Speaking Out on Men and Sexism

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      soundtracks and survInterview with Philly’s Pissed and Philly Stands Up

      An interview with Philly’s Pissed and Philly Stands Up, two collectives that work to support survivors of sexual assault and hold perpetrators accountable. From Heartattack zine.

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      THUMBNAIL_IMAGEon the road to healing: an anthology for men ending sexism by basil shadid

      this book was originally a series of zines that came out between 1998 and 2004. I was always so impressed by the work basil was doing, and am excited to have these zines all together in a book! It’s a great collection of short, accessible, powerful essays and stories. Includes: The Cult of Manhood, My Reisistance to Feminism, Intentional Masculinities Interview, Personal Goals for Ending Sexism, and a ton more!

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      masculinitiesMasculinities: inteviews

      Interviews about role models and subtle things about masuclinity and exploring what we were taught about it, how that teaching effected us, and how we challenge it. With folks: including Shane (Ahleuchatistas), Brontez Purnell, Colin Atrophy, Larry (Pretty Pretty) and more!

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      Screen_shot_2013-04-08_at_9_17_49_PM_125x162Training Men To Be Rapists

      a transcript of a speech from the 2012 Boise SlutWalk, this is a zine about rape culture– a culture that normalizes, excuses, and enforces rape and trains men to be rapists.

       

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      Experiments in Transformative Justice by the Challenging Male Supremacy Project

      When Calling Me Your Beautiful Sister is Not Enough

      Going to places that scare me: Personal reflections on challenging male supremacy

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      Resources Specifically for Women-identified Perpetrators

      404 Error! Either the internet hasn’t caught up, or there are no known material resources in circulation. I’ll include some helplines instead.

      call STOP IT NOW.org.uk on 0808 100 0900
      Help line aimed at adults who have abused or are thinking of abusing a child, family and friends of abusers and parents of children and young people with worrying sexual behavior.
      call Respect phoneline on 0808 802 4040, Mon – Fri, 10am – 1pm and 2pm – 5pm.
      Respect runs a confidential helpline for domestic violence perpetrators (male or female). They offer information and advice to support perpetrators stop their violence and change their abusive behaviours.

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      If you’re looking for any material in the mean time, you can catch up on any learnt bad habits through being socialised in the gender binary.

      what happened to sistedrhoodWhat Happened to Sisterhood?

      Cat fights, gossip, body policing, slut shaming, enough is enough! Be a better sista, the world is cruel enough without us being cruel to each other. You can’t smash patriarchy by yourself!

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      HLS

      The story of a love affair, the author wanted to share on zinelibrary.info

      his

      “My husband was pleased to see that I had such a good time with my sister that he suggested I do it again sometime. That’s when I whipped out my flyer for next weekend’s craft sale an hour away in Rochester. I put on my pouty face and said, Pwease pwease daddy, let us girls go buy some garbage from other people?” He had a good laugh and agreed as long as I promised spending no more than $100.”

      Feminist case against women bishops

      Subalternity: Essentialise their role in society, accept dehumanizing traditions that make them subservient to men

      Girl on Girl Hate

      Hold each other to a subservient standard, know your place

      Women who feel entitled more likely to endorse benevolent sexism study finds

      The Second Sex by Simon de Beauviour

      unlearning marriage

      Reproduction of Mothering by Nancy Chodorow

      unlearning the patriarchal family

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      Resources Specifically for Trans-Identified Perpetrators

      Zero Resources, try this helpline:

      London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard
      Call: 020 7837 7324

      Transgender/SOFFA: Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Resource Sheet (October 20th, 2003) Anti-violence Publications

      Tactics used by transgender abusers

      • Claiming they are just being “butch” or that “it’s the hormones” (to explain their violent behavior)
      • Ridiculing or belittling your iden-tity as a bisexual, trans, femme, butch, genderqueer….
      • Claiming that your identity “undermines” or is “disrespectful” of theirs
      • Charging you with “not being supportive” if you ask to discuss questions of transitioning timing and/or expense
      • Denying that you are affected by the transition or by being part-nered with a trans person
      • Accusing you of not allowing hir to have a “proper adolescence”
      • Forbidding you to talk to others about transgender topics
      • Telling you you would harm the LGB and/or T community if you exposed what was happening
      • Negating your personal decisions
      • Claiming they are more “politically correct” and using their status as an L, G, B, and/or T person against you